An Adoption Story: part 3 (the end)
That night we drove back to Corvallis to get some things packed, get some rest, and set up a babysitter for Baby K as we would be traveling back and forth to the NICU all week. We weren't sure when she was going home. The nurses and doctors had initially said 7-9 days from her birth and so we had to be prepared for this. Luckily I was able to arrange staying the night at my mom's house because she lived about an hour closer to the hospital than we did. I was grateful for this as the lack of sleep and the commute would begin to wear on my by the time she came home.. but I'm getting ahead of myself.
On Wednesday Jason had to work the morning shift and so I drove up to the hospital with my sister and her family and throughout the morning, my mom, sister, brother-in-law and mother and father in-law were able to come up and meet Norah. My in-laws also brought Baby K to meet his sister for the first time. He was pretty shy at first. He had to have his temperature taken, be caught up on his immunizations and wash up before he was able to go back to the NICU. He met Norah and seemed genuinely interested, but I could also tell that he missed me so much by the way he clung to my neck when we hugged goodbye. Since Jason couldn't be there, we face timed him as Baby K met his new sister.
I walked my in-laws and Baby K out as they had to leave and my heart hurt as I hugged Baby K tightly and promised him I would see him soon. I could tell he was emotional, but trying to hold it together. I never knew how much I could love both him and Norah, the feeling was overwhelming.
After everyone left the hospital, I spent some one on one time with Norah. Holding her and feeding her and singing to her. I wanted her to learn my voice and know my smell. I wanted her to know I would take care of her, love her, and protect her.
It took a LOT of nerve, (I basically had to dial the number and press send without thinking about it), but I called Norah's birth mom (she was in a different maternity wing) and asked her if she wanted to come up to the NICU and hold Norah and just talk and hang out with me. Doing this type of thing is WAY out of my comfort zone, but we have an open adoption and I wanted to take the first steps at getting to know the woman who gave us Norah. At first she was reluctant and then she called back and said she would. I was very nervous. I wanted her to know how much I loved Norah and wanted her to think that i was doing a good job being her mommy.
A few minutes later we were both there talking about Norah and how lovely she was and then we were talking about our likes and turns out we had quite a bit in common. She loves sunflowers, my whole room growing up was sunflowers. Her middle and ring fingers overlap, so do mine. We both love folk music and she even loves Norah Jones! We both have a strong love for music. She listed some of her favorite artists and I told her I wanted to make a CD for Norah based on all the music her birth mom liked. Her birth mother kept saying over and over, "you don't know how much it means to me for you to have called me and invited me up." I was so thankful that I didn't think too long before hitting that send button.
The next day, was completely insane. I came to the hospital to pick up Baby K, while Jason stayed with Norah all morning. It was the day that Norah's birth mom was being discharged from the hospital and I needed to run a million errands. First thing, Baby K and I had a little Starbucks date in the mall, while we waited for the store "Something Silver" to open. I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off and I completely forgot to bring in the stroller. As many of you know, toddlers and breakable jewelry stores do not go well together. When you are desperate, you find one of those rentable taxi strollers in the mall that you would NEVER usually pay for, but we did it. Rented one of those do-hickeys and had one happy toddler with his squeezie apple juice and a bagel in one hand and a cream cheese smeared taxi steering wheel in the other. I ended up purchasing Norah's birth mom a custom designed locket, with the sapphire birth stone charm (for Norah's birthday), an engraved heart charm, and the letter "N" charm for her to wear. I purchased a big boquet of flowers (that included lots of sunflowers) and a blank card where I sat in the parking garage at the hospital and poured my heart and tears out in words.
Can I just say, there are no words? No words for someone giving you what you've wanted your whole entire life. What you've prayed and waited for and begged God for. But I did my best and wrote what I could. I told her that Norah would be so lucky because she would have double the love. From the mother that birthed her and the mother that raised her.
Jason and I met with Norah's birth mom to give her the gifts once again and it was a teary experience trying to thank her and share with her promises for our Norah.
We found out that day that Norah was doing so well that she could go home that Friday! I spent time on the phone trying to get everything into place so we could bring her home. Insurance, car seat, clothes, transportation, CPR classes, doctors appointments, etc. On Thursday, one of my greatest prayers and dreams came to fruition. I was able to nurse Norah with a supplemental nursing system and a team of lactation consultants who made me feel like I was the most "real" mom to Norah I could ever be. I always wondered if I would struggle with that feeling, and mostly I don't. Norah feels exactly like my daughter. The love is not any less, in fact it almost feels more in a way. I don't take any moment for granted. I am still able to nurse Norah (yes, it is possible!) and I am taking medication to lactate and hopefully nurse her without formula in the future.
At first I kind of thought that it would be hard to stay in the NICU with Norah for 5 days, but honestly now that I look back I think it was a blessing in disguise. In a way, it was as if I had birthed her and was now having the usual hospital stay for recovering and bonding. I look at the time as a time for getting close to Norah without all of "lifes" chaos. It was a time where I could get help with nursing, I was able to have a team of extremely kind professionals telling me that Norah was okay, although she was 5 weeks premature. The nurses were all very interested in our story and our open adoption. I was even able to share my testimony of God answering our prayers to several nurses. And finally, I was able to spend some time getting to know Norah's birth mother and connecting with her.
All along, I had prayed for a newborn. I had hoped I would be able to name her. I wanted to at least try nursing. I secretly really was hoping for a girl. I wanted a hospital experience. I didn't really want to go through the long drawn out process of meeting, getting matched and then waiting for delivery like we had gone through with the last two failed adoptions. I wanted to fall in love with our child instantly. I wanted to "connect" with the birth mom. I had prayed specifically about each and every one of these things.... and they all happened.
Call it coincidence. Call if fate.
I call it a miracle.
On Wednesday Jason had to work the morning shift and so I drove up to the hospital with my sister and her family and throughout the morning, my mom, sister, brother-in-law and mother and father in-law were able to come up and meet Norah. My in-laws also brought Baby K to meet his sister for the first time. He was pretty shy at first. He had to have his temperature taken, be caught up on his immunizations and wash up before he was able to go back to the NICU. He met Norah and seemed genuinely interested, but I could also tell that he missed me so much by the way he clung to my neck when we hugged goodbye. Since Jason couldn't be there, we face timed him as Baby K met his new sister.
I walked my in-laws and Baby K out as they had to leave and my heart hurt as I hugged Baby K tightly and promised him I would see him soon. I could tell he was emotional, but trying to hold it together. I never knew how much I could love both him and Norah, the feeling was overwhelming.
After everyone left the hospital, I spent some one on one time with Norah. Holding her and feeding her and singing to her. I wanted her to learn my voice and know my smell. I wanted her to know I would take care of her, love her, and protect her.
It took a LOT of nerve, (I basically had to dial the number and press send without thinking about it), but I called Norah's birth mom (she was in a different maternity wing) and asked her if she wanted to come up to the NICU and hold Norah and just talk and hang out with me. Doing this type of thing is WAY out of my comfort zone, but we have an open adoption and I wanted to take the first steps at getting to know the woman who gave us Norah. At first she was reluctant and then she called back and said she would. I was very nervous. I wanted her to know how much I loved Norah and wanted her to think that i was doing a good job being her mommy.
A few minutes later we were both there talking about Norah and how lovely she was and then we were talking about our likes and turns out we had quite a bit in common. She loves sunflowers, my whole room growing up was sunflowers. Her middle and ring fingers overlap, so do mine. We both love folk music and she even loves Norah Jones! We both have a strong love for music. She listed some of her favorite artists and I told her I wanted to make a CD for Norah based on all the music her birth mom liked. Her birth mother kept saying over and over, "you don't know how much it means to me for you to have called me and invited me up." I was so thankful that I didn't think too long before hitting that send button.
The next day, was completely insane. I came to the hospital to pick up Baby K, while Jason stayed with Norah all morning. It was the day that Norah's birth mom was being discharged from the hospital and I needed to run a million errands. First thing, Baby K and I had a little Starbucks date in the mall, while we waited for the store "Something Silver" to open. I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off and I completely forgot to bring in the stroller. As many of you know, toddlers and breakable jewelry stores do not go well together. When you are desperate, you find one of those rentable taxi strollers in the mall that you would NEVER usually pay for, but we did it. Rented one of those do-hickeys and had one happy toddler with his squeezie apple juice and a bagel in one hand and a cream cheese smeared taxi steering wheel in the other. I ended up purchasing Norah's birth mom a custom designed locket, with the sapphire birth stone charm (for Norah's birthday), an engraved heart charm, and the letter "N" charm for her to wear. I purchased a big boquet of flowers (that included lots of sunflowers) and a blank card where I sat in the parking garage at the hospital and poured my heart and tears out in words.
Can I just say, there are no words? No words for someone giving you what you've wanted your whole entire life. What you've prayed and waited for and begged God for. But I did my best and wrote what I could. I told her that Norah would be so lucky because she would have double the love. From the mother that birthed her and the mother that raised her.
Jason and I met with Norah's birth mom to give her the gifts once again and it was a teary experience trying to thank her and share with her promises for our Norah.
We found out that day that Norah was doing so well that she could go home that Friday! I spent time on the phone trying to get everything into place so we could bring her home. Insurance, car seat, clothes, transportation, CPR classes, doctors appointments, etc. On Thursday, one of my greatest prayers and dreams came to fruition. I was able to nurse Norah with a supplemental nursing system and a team of lactation consultants who made me feel like I was the most "real" mom to Norah I could ever be. I always wondered if I would struggle with that feeling, and mostly I don't. Norah feels exactly like my daughter. The love is not any less, in fact it almost feels more in a way. I don't take any moment for granted. I am still able to nurse Norah (yes, it is possible!) and I am taking medication to lactate and hopefully nurse her without formula in the future.
At first I kind of thought that it would be hard to stay in the NICU with Norah for 5 days, but honestly now that I look back I think it was a blessing in disguise. In a way, it was as if I had birthed her and was now having the usual hospital stay for recovering and bonding. I look at the time as a time for getting close to Norah without all of "lifes" chaos. It was a time where I could get help with nursing, I was able to have a team of extremely kind professionals telling me that Norah was okay, although she was 5 weeks premature. The nurses were all very interested in our story and our open adoption. I was even able to share my testimony of God answering our prayers to several nurses. And finally, I was able to spend some time getting to know Norah's birth mother and connecting with her.
All along, I had prayed for a newborn. I had hoped I would be able to name her. I wanted to at least try nursing. I secretly really was hoping for a girl. I wanted a hospital experience. I didn't really want to go through the long drawn out process of meeting, getting matched and then waiting for delivery like we had gone through with the last two failed adoptions. I wanted to fall in love with our child instantly. I wanted to "connect" with the birth mom. I had prayed specifically about each and every one of these things.... and they all happened.
Call it coincidence. Call if fate.
I call it a miracle.
Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever. Psalms 107:1
Comments
much, much love & blessings
xoxo
cathy
Naomi, thank you for the lovely card
Love, GreatGrammi
You are an amazing young woman! I just love reading your blog and was really looking forward to the conclusion of your adoption story. (I had hopped over from Lily's blog a few months ago.) I am overjoyed that all your prayers were answered. Congratulations! Your little family of 4 is adorable! So, so happy for all of you (grandparents included!).
Tami