10.26.12

I am trying to think of the words to describe how I feel right now, but they won't come. I close my eyes and then stare at the screen in front of me and then glance around the coffee shop hoping the bright blue checkered walls will inspire my writing. Or may be the fluorescent hanging lights will shine the right language in my mind to spell out my thoughts.

The fluttery stomach, the sporadic heart racing, and the sudden tears all contribute to my awareness to what is happening in just two days. I have tried to imagine how it will play out and how we will feel. And although Jason and I have already been through this before, I just cannot convince my mind of it. I try to tell myself I am not nervous or excited or fearful or a million other sensations, but alas I have to give up because I am.

Because in two days we will meet a mother. A mother who is considering letting me have the privilege of mothering her child. A mother who wants an open adoption and has chosen mine and Jason's Adoption book out of many others. She has chosen to meet only us (no pressure). And her sweet baby (it will be a surprise) will be coming into the world next month. Just in time for Halloween. Have I ever mentioned how much I love teeny tiny newborn babies having their pictures taken at the pumpkin patch?

Baby K: Pumpkin Patch 2011

I was ecstatic when I received the call asking us when we could travel to meet this young mother. I mean I was really really ecstatic. I was jumping up and down (after I got off the phone of course) and hugging Jason and telling him how much I couldn't believe it. We were really going.

You see 2 weeks before I got that call, I received another call from our social worker at Catholic Charities asking us if she could show our adoption book to a mother considering adoption. We of course said yes, considering it such a blessing that our book was being shown again so quickly after losing Ariah. I doubted in my mind that we could be picked for a match meeting twice in a row, but God is really good at proving my doubts wrong.

We are so looking forward to meeting this mother and hoping and praying that if it's Gods will that we have this baby, that everything will work out. I have heard this a million times, but it doesn't make it any less true, and that is when I hold my baby in my arms, I will know that God had to take a little extra time on such a big miracle.

I know I am going to be getting a BIG miracle someday soon. I just hope that it comes around October 26, 2012.

Your prayers will be greatly appreciated for us as well as this mother and her baby.

And did I mention just HOW much I love babies in pumpkin patches??