Believe Only.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but it empties today of its strength." - Corrie Ten Boom

My very wise father-in-law quoted this in his sermon yesterday morning when he preached on worry. It struck a cord with me because I tend to worry a lot. Big surprise huh? Not being able to carry a child, waiting in an adoption pool, and taking care of a little foster baby for 18 months can add a few worries to the plate. That's just extra, not including all the usual everyday worries of finances, car problems, school, church, commitments etc.

Sunday night we headed to a revival service at our sister church. He preached a sermon called "Believe Only." In a nutshell it was an amazing sermon, but he really challenged us to really believe in what we believe. Not just speak it, but really believe it with our heart. For example, all the time I say negative things but then just "tag" on the phrase "unless God moves of course." It's hard not to do this when things look so bleak and you don't want to get your hopes up.

Don't want to get your hopes up. This phrase makes no sense. Do I honestly think that if I am super negative about Baby K possibly being adopted, that if he leaves I will be any LESS sad? No absolutely not. I would still be just as heartbroken. So what is stopping me from only believing? I know that faith pleases God. I know that if I have faith as small as a mustard seed I can please God, but what's stopping me at a mustard seed? Why can't I have faith as big as the sky and hope for the things unseen?

It's much easier to only believe when things are going good and smooth and you are riding high on just that little bit of "good news." But when bad news comes in the form of a phone call or an unexpected text or email, it can feel like your sky of faith just came crashing down on you. It can feel like God just lost control. This part is when the rubber hits the road. You have to choose not to fall apart. You might cry for a moment, but then you have to turn those tears into prayers and get back up again.

Baby K has heard me pray for him so many times that if I even pause at all during my prayers he immediately says "awe-men."

So here I am today choosing to believe only. All the negative aside and I am believing only for a miracle for Baby K and for our forever baby to make it home. And do I even go so far to say, a miracle to happen within my own body? God is a big God. With him anything can happen.

"But as it is written: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9