Mom. Merry Christmas.

Dear mom,

On my first Christmas away from home I cried when I heard the song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I cried because I didn't think i could ever have a merry little Christmas without being home with you guys. With family. I missed everything about you. I hated living in a tiny little apartment with no Christmas decorations and without holiday cheer. You used to make our home so special. Seriously it looked like a page out of the Pottery Barn Christmas magazine. So when I heard the song tonight on Pandora it surprised me that no tears came to my eyes. I felt... content. Joyful even. I stared off at the sparkling lights on my tree and sniffed my sleeping baby's head. Hmmmm...

I'm sitting on the couch typing with one hand because my little one is fast asleep on my shoulder. The ends of my hair are wet from him sucking on my hair. I have spit up all over my shoulder. I literally have formula powder stuck to my jeans when I may or may not have dumped a container of it on the floor earlier this evening. My living room floor is scattered with wrapping paper pieces, scissors, tape, bows and boxes. The house is a mess. I am a mess, but I'm happy. So happy. So thankful.

Yes, I miss you guys, especially you, this time of year and wish we could all be together everyday. But I feel settled. I feel at home. I guess I am just appreciating all I have more than ever this time of year. Appreciating life and family, my husband, baby K and all we have. I'm thanking God for all I have and thanking Him for choosing me to take care of this little one this Christmas. Thanks for raising me in a home where I know the real meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas...

Love, me