An Adoption Story: Part 2

This is the second part to a three part adoption story for Norah Jane Michaela Rice. I want to document every detail and memory in here and therefore I know I am not going to get it out in one post. Hope you enjoy!

*****************************

The next morning when I awoke, I wasn't really sure that yesterday had happened. It felt like any other, regular day. But it wasn't. It was the day to meet our daughter. The reality of it sunk in when I was about half way done with my bowl of cereal and the nausea deep in the pit of my began. When I am nervous, I get sick. Like really sick. So all morning I was trying to keep my mind off of it. My sister came over with her 5 kids and that was enough to distract my brain. Around 10am I got a call from our social worker that we would need to do a match meeting at the hospital that day around 3pm and meet the birth mom. I showered, dressed in my favorite outfit, curled my hair and put on my locket that Jason had given me on my 18th birthday to remind me of all we had been through together. I arranged a babysitter for Baby K and I packed the diaper bag, but in a rush to get out the door, I ended up forgetting it. Jason's younger brother (our temporary babysitter) snapped a few pictures of us all dressed up all ready to go and we kissed Baby K goodbye and began our hour and a half trip to Portland.

On the drive up there, our social worker called again and reminded us that nothing was set in stone. The birth mom had yet to meet us and had only just found out that we were both 10 years younger than her. The worker told us to take our time meeting and getting to know the birth mother and not even ask about the baby until she felt comfortable with us. After I hung up the phone I struggled with wondering if this was a for sure thing. But my instincts told me it was.

In the past, when we had gone to match meetings, I ALWAYS was wondering what the birth mom would look like, would she like us, would we "click", and would I love her baby right away. But as we walked through the hospital doors, I was only thinking one thing.

I hope this works.

I did not want another failed adoption, another disappointment. I just wanted this to be the day where we met our forever baby. We checked in at the maternity ward and waited for the adoption worker to meet us there. I was nervous because we hadn't met her yet (except in passing at our agency), but all my fears were resolved when she came out and talked to us about what was going to happen, step by step. She told us to wait there while she let the birth mom know that we were coming and then she would be back to get us. I promptly went to the bathroom for one last self check, one last telling myself to not throw up, and then to take a "selfie" in the mirror to send to my mom and sister to say "this is it." I was so nervous.

Meeting the birth mom was every emotion I've ever felt all mashed up into about 7 minutes. It was a little bit of shock, excitement, sadness, grief, joy, hurting, wonder, comfort, awkwardness, overwhelmed, blessed, and thrilled. I think my brain was short circuiting. That was why I was so incredibly surprised when one of the first things she said to us was, "congratulations! When do you want to meet your daughter?" We were so nervous and so excited and so scared to mess anything up, but after talking with her for a few minutes all of the sudden we were on our way to meet our little Norah. Norah Jane Michaela. Her first two names from us and Michaela from her birth mom, named after her fiance Michael who had passed away in an accident 6 years earlier.

She was perfect. Like so perfect that I felt like it wasn't real. Her little nose, big eyes and rosebud lips. A head perfectly covered in brown hair and itty bitty. Probably only 4 lbs 3 oz at the time. We weren't allowed to take any pictures or hold her until after we signed the adoption papers, and that was hard because she was so beautiful and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. But part of me also savored this moment that no one else experienced except Jason and I right there standing in the NICU by her little plastic bassinet. I kept commenting on how beautiful and perfect she was. And then telling the NICU nurses and the adoption worker over and over how lovely and perfect and beautiful she was. "Isn't she??" I kept asking. I felt this fuzzy feeling in my mind like my brain was going into overload. My commenting was interrupted by the adoption worker asking if we were ready to go and sign adoption papers. Were we ready?? Is that even a question. YES!

We were asked to wait on a different floor while the adoption worker went and talked with the birth mom and waited for the notary to arrive. We hurried off to call our parents and share the news that we were about to sign! We hurriedly scarfed down some food in the cafeteria since I hadn't eaten much earlier and knowing we were probably going to be staying with our daughter as long as possible.

Jason's mom reminded us to take lots of pictures to document everything about the day and now looking back at photos i'm glad that I did!

I was starting to get nervous when after an hour we hadn't gotten a call from our social worker asking us to come and sign. But around 5:45pm we got the call. Gripping hands tightly, like our dating days, we walked to the "green" elevators and sharing secret smiles, we met the notary and adoption worker in a conference room. They brought us tissues (haha) that only the notary used (she has known us from the day we applied to the adoption agency).  She told us that the last two adoptions that they had done happened to be 2 of the longest waiting couples and because of those adoptions, when the call for Norah came in, we happened to be the family. She said she was so excited when she found out. She wiped away tears as she handed us our adoption profile books that had been shown to so many potential birth moms and that's when I almost lost it. She said, "I won't be needing these anymore!" My chin quivered as it finally kicked into my brain that we were done. It was over. All this waiting and it was finally over.

I could sigh. I could breathe again. It was happening. This was it.

We signed what felt like a ton of signatures and then just like that the notary and adoption worker were gone to go speak to the birth mom. We texted our family to tell them that we had signed and that we were going to go meet Norah a second time, but this time as our daughter.

We went back to the NICU for the second time and the adoption worker introduced us to the nurses as the adoptive parents. I immediately asked to hold her.

The nurse handed her to me.

I can't even say what was running through my mind, only that my heart was feeling incredible happiness. My heart hurt. It felt like it was gonna burst with joy. I loved her instantly; not even a second thought. She was mine. She was my daughter. I loved her fiercely.

I am pretty sure that daddy felt the same. We held her til late that night and finally had to leave to make preparations to stay there about a week. The day was perfect. My prayers, I felt, were being answered so specifically by God. There was no doubt in my mind that he had orchestrated this all. He knew this day was coming and I am sure at the moment was smiling down from heaven.

To be continued.